Wednesday, December 3, 2008


...Something a friend told me once. For the past 3 years I've been preparing myself for the loss of my Mom, more so when her cancer began to worsen this summer. The loss, sadness, explaining death to my children. All these things I rehearsed and accepted.

Tuesday December 2nd my ex husband, Frank, passed away suddenly. He was turning 40 on December 8th. I'm not ready for this. Telling my children was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. How Mommy? Where is he now Mommy? Is he sad? Will he still give me my Christmas presents? Can I still give him his present? What will happen to his bird Charlie?

I have strong faith, and I live and teach to forgive and be caring and to love unconditionally. So I know my children have no regrets. My children loved their Daddy very much. I loved their Daddy for giving me them. They are all that is good from both of us.
Monday I was so worried about Jennifer Knits, finishing sweaters for the holidays, getting all of you your yarn and patterns quickly, all of my Chamber of Commerce duties, etc. etc. Today I am so sad and my heart aches for a loss I can't explain or understand.

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